Disclaimer

Why i wrote this……. Why NestaCity….

I wrote this for myself because I wanted to preserve this pain, this longing, and regrets that slept next to me every goddamned time. I wanted to save this in my memory of how intense I could cry when words couldn’t spell out my heartache. I wrote this because I wanted to turn this one into a solid proof of how pain invaded my entire system until I stopped functioning the way I used to. I wanted to remember your changes, the way you didn’t want me anymore, the way you stopped listening to me, and the way you stopped understanding my seasons. I wanted to write about something that will all sum up to how heavy the pain I have to deal with every day until I learned to find my way to escape for it.
So yes, I wrote this not because I wanted you to read it, not because I wanted you to sympathize with what I feel. I don’t want to guilt-trip you. I don’t want you to come back out of pity or because you wanted to take that thorn out from you. I wrote this because I only wanted to remember how this phase made me want to explore and find a better place to validate my emotions, how this pain gave me a good sight to search for my worth.
I wrote this about you but this not for you. This is for me. And as soon as I learned to manage this pain until everything will turn into a joke and sublime decision I should never regret taking.
I wrote this because I wanted this to serve as proof about the process I went through enable for me to reach the good side of healing. I wanted this to remind me about how pain changed me.
I wrote this to remind myself about the lessons I learned.
I guess, this is what life is after all.

From My bleeding Heart